What Are You Afraid Of?

Sometimes in my lowest moments when i feel most hopeless, allah reveals a treasure to me... when i least expect it. it might be a friendship that blossom because of a need, a deeper insight into life's meanings, a sudden attachment to quran, a tear that i learn to shed in supplication, etc. but surely when allah takes something away from me/you, he gives you something greater in it's place.
jadi, sedikit cerita tentang suatu kejadian yg mungkin tidak akan pernah terlupakan, yup. it's like..
the worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could, and it still wasn't good enough. to say i have never failed, would be a lie. i fail every single day. to say i have never quit, would be the good honest truth.
singkat cerita, penilaian seseorang bisa jadi benar dan malah sebaliknya, ada yg memuji tiada henti, membanggakan kesana kemari tentang suatu hal yg ia rasa sudah cukup baik. tapi, jika penilaian itu terkesan sama sekali tidaklah sesuai jika dilihat dari hanya dari satu pandangan. seolah buta...
hm, well.. she was beautiful, but no like those girls in the magazines. she was beautiful, for the way she thought. she was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. she was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. no, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. she was beautiful, deep down to her soul. hati manusia siapa yg tau? dibalik apa yg ia pakai, tentang bagaimana seseorang dinilai hanya dari tampilan luar? well it's a sad truth. but the truth is far behind you now.
at some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. leave them alone, walk away, it's not like you're giving up, and it's not like you shouldn't try. it's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. what is truly yours will eventually be you're, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
ada sebagian orang, yang bisa berubah dengan waktu yg sangatlah singkat. how sad?
yes, we are born in one day, we die in one day. we can change in one day, and we can fall in love in one day. anything can happen in just one day.
one day i lose something, and i say "oh my, i was happy" and i didn't even know it.
the sweetest of this life is found in remembering allah, the sweetness of the next life will be found in seeing him. bahagia ketika, wah, diberi balasan akan semua doa, oh beginilah yang sebenernya terjadi, inilah sebagian penilaian yg salah, and ya! there's always hikmah behind whatever situation we're facing right now. allah must want us to improve our characters through that situation. his plans are always to elevate our ranks for the next world.
i've learned over the years, that people are people. the aren't going to save you and it's up to you to save yourself. all i need was a chance and a break, i guess i have to create my own chance and give myself a break. no one is going to do it for me, i need to fix myself, i need to be better.
people say "only god can judge me" like it something comforting. i don't know about you, but nothing scares me more than his judgement. sangatlah tidak adil, tapi ini sebagian dari ujian. diam adalah emas, diam disaat omongan yg sangatlah menyatat hati. baik, sudah cukup bisa mengontrol diri sendiri.
you don't need anyone's affection or approval in order to be good enough. when someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn't actually about you. it's about them and their own insecurities,limitations, and needs, and you don't have to internalize that. your worth isn't contingent upon other people's acceptance of you, it's something inherent. you exist, amd therefore, you matter. you're allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. you allowed to assert your needs and take your space. you're allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. and you're allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.